Project Kathan

S (name changed), Kolkata

Conversation through Whatsapp messages and written form, 26th November 2024

I recently had surgery. It was a gynecological surgery. I had a cyst (which is like a tumor near
one of my ovaries) which needed immediate removal. As a trans masculine person, it was like a
nightmare come true. I have always avoided talking about menstruation or similar topics
because it makes me feel dysphoric. I now had to repeatedly talk about those topics for my
treatment.

I saw 3-4 doctors for my diagnosis and subsequent treatment. Since I am still feminine
presenting, all of them were concerned about how to protect my ovaries to have children at a
later stage of my life. The first doctor I saw was a woman. She was concerned about how I will
get married in case they have to surgically remove my ovaries. Another doctor I saw casually
mentioned that he would have liked to do a two finger test but he’s only relying on imaging
because I’m unmarried. I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, I was relieved
because going through a pelvic examination would’ve been traumatic for me; but on the other
hand, the way he mentioned it casually in the busy hospital corridor in front of other patients
made me uncomfortable. At the same time, the idea of not doing a pelvic examination to
maintain the virginity of an unmarried woman made me indignant. I believe it’s up to the patient
to decide and the doctor should privately discuss this with the patient.

When I met my surgeon for the first time, i told him I’m transgender so that he stops focusing on
saving my ovary and focus more on my well being. He thought I had chromosome problem. He
didn’t have a proper idea of what transgender means. While he was an excellent surgeon, the
lack of knowledge about how to deal with transgender patients made my hospital stay
uncomfortable. He later told my mother in private that since I don’t have any issues with any
reproductive organs, he’s confident I’ll become normal once I meet the right guy.
Overall while I received good care, it still makes me uncomfortable to think about it.

When I was at the hospital, two house staffs came to give me a trans vaginal medicine. They didn’t explain it properly to me, and when I told them it made me feel uncomfortable and that it hurt, one of the residents was annoyed with me. The other resident was slightly more empathetic and let me squeeze her hand. When the nurse came to shave me before my surgery, it was uncomfortable for me. Maybe, talking to me or using my proper pronouns would’ve made the process slightly easier. When I woke up, the surgeon mentioned that he didn’t find any anomalies with my reproductive organs and I would be okay in no time. I wish he knew how to talk to transgender patients in a more gender sensitive way and not focus constantly on the reproductive part of things.